VGOONCON

Hosted by anime4dayss

THE PREMIER OPEN-FLOOR VTUBER EXPERIENCE

Initialize Scroll ↓

// OFFICIAL TRANSMISSION

EVENT TRAILER

Hold onto your lube

// MANDATORY SPECIFICATIONS

EVENT HIGHLIGHTS

⊘

NO INTERIOR WALLS

WALLS ARE A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT

Maximum visibility. Minimum privacy. Every corner is everyone's corner.

✕

NO BOOTHS

BOOTHS ARE FOR COWARDS

Why hide behind a curtain when you can be seen from space?

▦

CONCRETE FLOOR

AUTHENTIC INDUSTRIAL AESTHETIC

Cold. Hard. Honest. Your spine will remember this convention forever.

◉

100,000 LITERS

INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH LUBRICANT

For... operational purposes. Do not ask what the operations are.

Lubricant Reserve Status

0 / 100,000 L

INDUSTRIAL GRADE

OFFICIAL FLOOR PLAN

v4.0 (FINAL) (FINAL2) · 400,000 sq ft · 1 room

Warehouse — top-down view

0m ≈ ∞m (open floor)

The entire convention is this square. You are inside it. There is nothing else on the map.

  • — Interior walls: not shown (none exist)
  • — Booths: not shown (policy)
  • — Restrooms: off-map (that way →)
  • — VIP lounge: imagine a square. That's the whole map.

// NOT A REAL CHECKOUT

TICKETS & VIP PACKAGES

All tiers include concrete, lubricant vibes, and zero booths. Payment processing is fictional.

Concrete Floor Pass

You get in. That's the whole pitch.

£49

one very long day

  • › General admission to the entire warehouse
  • › Stand directly on authentic concrete
  • › Ambient humidity from the lube vats (complimentary)
  • › No walls blocking your view (because there are no walls)
  • › Condoms not included — bring your own

Slip 'n Slide Standard

Early entry — but not before you've relaxed.

£89

one slippery day

  • › Early entry (after mandatory 45-min "relaxation" orientation)
  • › Cardboard knee pads (while supplies last, supplies never last)
  • › One (1) paper towel for emergency drying
  • › Access to the same floor as everyone else, slightly sooner
  • › Condoms included (sealed for your protection from the elements)
Most Industrial

VIP — Very Industrial Person

You're important. The floor knows.

£199

premium suffering

  • › Early entry (relaxed OR convincingly pretending)
  • › Tape square on floor marked "VIP LOUNGE" (12ft × 12ft, shared with 800 people)
  • › Meet & greet with any attendee within screaming distance
  • › Exclusive damp pamphlet explaining where the booths aren't
  • › Condoms included (premium industrial-grade packaging)

ULTRA GOON ELITE™

For goons who go harder.

£499

legendary lubrication

  • › Early entry (we trust you've relaxed — we don't verify)
  • › Permission to lean against a "pillar" (chalk line on the floor)
  • › Personal escort to the horizon (where the bathrooms definitely are)
  • › Your name read aloud over a PA system with no walls to echo off
  • › 0.002% discount at merch tables that don't exist
  • › Condoms included (hand-delivered by a very serious android)

TIER COMPARISON

Choose wisely. Or don't. The floor doesn't judge (Lucy might though).

Feature Floor Standard VIP Elite
Early entry (but not before you've relaxed) — ✓ ✓ ✓
Mandatory relaxation orientation — 45 min optional wink honor system
Assigned seating the floor the floor a tape square a chalk line
Meet & greet everyone, unwillingly everyone, sooner within 50 meters by name, loudly
Exclusive merch — damp flyer damp pamphlet damp pamphlet + nod
Condoms BYO included included included + android delivery
Booth access NO NO NO NO
Interior walls NO NO NO NO
Industrial lubricant exposure ambient ambient+ ambient++ you ARE the ambiance
Parking point at horizon point at horizon point at horizon, with confidence helicopter (not included)
Refunds lol lmao nice try we laughed

// TIMETABLE

EVENT SCHEDULE

Doors Open

08:00

Good luck finding them. The entrance is conceptual.

Mandatory Relaxation

09:00

45 minutes of lying face-down on the concrete. No exceptions.

Lunch Break

13:00

Foraging period. Whatever you find in the lube is yours.

Panel: Why Walls Are Oppressive

16:00

A 3-hour lecture shouted across the 400,000 sq ft room. Everyone must listen.

Survive

20:00

The lights go out. The androids are released.

// KNOWLEDGE BASE

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q. Can I bring my own lubricant?

A.

Absolutely not. Outside moisture compromises the industrial ecosystem. We have 100,000 liters. Use ours.

Q. Where are the bathrooms?

A.

Pick a direction and walk towards the horizon. If you encounter a wall, you have left the convention.

Q. I lost my friends. Where is the meeting point?

A.

Everywhere is the meeting point. There are no walls. Just look harder.

Q. Is there a lost and found?

A.

If it falls into the lube, it belongs to the floor now.

// OFFICIAL SUPPLIES

EXCLUSIVE MERCHANDISE

Pre-Moistened Vgooncon Tee
£45

Pre-Moistened Vgooncon Tee

Saves you the trouble of falling in. Ships dripping wet.

Commemorative Concrete Chunk
£120

Commemorative Concrete Chunk

A piece of the floor. (Please stop chipping the actual floor to make your own).

Empty Cardboard Box
£80

Empty Cardboard Box

A 1:1 scale model of the convention floor plan.

Emergency Lube Cup
£35

Emergency Lube Cup

A cup that securely stores some of 100,000 liters of lubricant for later use

// PROTOCOLS

CODE OF CONDUCT

  • 01

    No building impromptu walls out of bodies or merch. Visibility must remain at 100%.

  • 02

    Do not drink the industrial lubricant. It is for operational purposes only.

  • 03

    If you slip, do not grab others. Fall with dignity.

  • 04

    Do not make direct eye contact with the condom-delivery androids. They perceive it as a threat.

// CORPORATE OVERLORDS

EVENT SPONSORS

Platinum Moisture Sponsor

Big Lube Co.

"When friction is your enemy."

Structural Void Sponsor

The Anti-Wall Coalition

"Tear them down. See everything."

Medical Partner

Local Knee Replacement Clinic

"You're going to need us tomorrow."

// VERIFIED REVIEWS

ATTENDEE REVIEWS

All five stars. Every single one.

★★★★★

"Best moisture-forward convention on the planet. The industrial lubricant adds REAL atmosphere. Already booked next year. Would soak again."

— Anonymous Attendee · verified 5/5
★★★★★

"Finally a con with NO WALLS blocking my aura. Open floor supremacy! My chakras have never been this exposed. 10/10 would echo forever."

— Confused VTuber · verified 5/5
★★★★★

"Incredible value at £49. The concrete gave me character, Lucy gave me purpose, and the ambient humidity gave me eczema. Peak conventioning."

— Concrete Floor Pass Holder · verified 5/5
★★★★★

"Minimalist floor plan changed my life. One square. Infinite possibilities. Cartographers weep. Architects retire. Perfection."

— Maps Enthusiast · verified 5/5
★★★★★

"The 45-minute relaxation orientation on concrete was spiritually transformative. My spine cracked but my third eye opened. Enlightenment via suffering."

— Slip 'n Slide Standard Ticket · verified 5/5
★★★★★

"VIP lounge EXCEEDED expectations. Eight hundred new best friends in one tape square. Intimacy levels: illegal. Felt like royalty on damp ground."

— Very Industrial Person · verified 5/5
★★★★★

"anime4dayss delivered EXACTLY what was promised. A square. Perfection. No notes. Day-one goon forever. Host of the year."

— Day-One Goon · verified 5/5
★★★★★

"Love the expansive bathroom situation — really encourages mindfulness AND cardio. Horizon walking builds character. Wellness convention of the decade."

— Lost Fan #441 · verified 5/5
★★★★★

"Elite tier android condom delivery alone worth every penny of £499. Shakespeare could never. Crown me the Ultra Goon. Service was immaculate."

— ULTRA GOON ELITE™ Member · verified 5/5
★★★★★

"Innovation incarnate. Warehouse chic. Moist vibes. The website square matched the real square. Flawless execution. Future of events."

— Organizer.exe · verified 5/5